GROW

Depending on the sort of business you're in, it pays to know as much about your customers as you can. If you're a sweetshop, it should be enough to know roughly who you're aiming at: school kids, pensioners, chocoholics, etc. For a consultancy or service business, you'll need to know much more if you're to avoid wasting your marketing budget by not targeting your communications effectively.

Top of the list of things to know is: you are not your customer. This may seem obvious, but many businesses fall into the trap of creating marketing materials that sell their own product or service to themselves. So always ask yourself: who am I selling to and is that person likely to find this piece of information interesting? To help you visualise this, try imagining a customer you already know well, or imagine yourself being sold to by someone else.

Depending on how much information you need, you could consider researching your customer's demographics (income group, age, where they live, etc), their attitudes, behaviours, knowledge, level of education, skills, etc, etc. Some of this information can be intuitive - you can work it out yourself - some you can get from your existing customer records, and some may need the help of a professional market research company. But it's safe to say that you can never know too much about who you're selling to.

Last seen somewhere in Wales, or somewhere else, the suspect is reported to be between 18 and 72 years of age, male or female, possibly North European, but may be of African-Caribbean, East Asian or South American extraction. Well and badly dressed, the suspect probably lives with his or her extended family in a large house, or alone with a dog and some string. Income variable, hair uncertain - may be bald - and of indistinguishable height.

If seen, suspect should be approached immediately and dragged to my place of business to buy something off me. Alternatively, please call Market Research-R-Us on 0800 NO HOPE (66 4673).